MIX
by Eternal Smasher
Summary: Melee? MIX. What is it? Does it even exist? If you called anime crossovers, hyper retarded humor, and genre cycling MIX, you'd be correct!
1. MIX It Up

M-I-X: The stupidest piece of sh*t you've probably ever read.

_This is my first lengthy fic with curses. Censored, of course, because I want everybody to read it...even people in libraries...like me... (sniffle) Just read! I don't own any one except for AJ, whom you'll see later. He's my alter ego! Prepare for stupidity..._

Mario: (sitting in the living room, looking up at the ceiling) Ah...Life is good...

Pichu: YOU'RE DEAD!

Mario: (sighs) They need to die...

Pikachu: WHAT DID I DO NOW!

Pichu: YOU ATE MY CHIPS!

Pikachu: WHAT CHIPS?

Pichu: MY SPECIAL CHIPS!

Pikachu: I DIDN'T EAT YOUR DAMN CHIPS!

Pichu: DID!

Pikachu: NOT!

Pichu: DID!

Pikachu: NOT!

Link: (bursts through the door) What door?

There's a door...

Link: Really?

Duh...

Link: I don't-

Go in the door and shut up!

Link: Fine. (bursts through the door again) Could you please shut up!

Pichu/Pikachu: GO TO HELL, LINK!

Link: (sniffles) Stop yelling at me! (runs away, crying like a loser)

Mario: (laughs)

O...kay...Let's go to the kitchen!

Peach: (standing by the oven) This cake'll be delicious!

Zelda: You know that whenever you bake anything, it ends up in disaster...

Peach: I'm trying my luck.

Ness: (suddenly appears, stomping) Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake! (continues)

Peach: Stop! You'll ruin the-

Suddenly, the stove blows up, and Zelda's hair catches fire...

Zelda: (running in circles, screaming "My hair!" repeatedly)

Peach: YOU LITTLE BRAT! (eyes turn red, grabs a knife and chases Ness all around the mansion trying to kill him)

Ness: (screaming like a girl)

Mario: Mama-mia! That's the 287th stove this month...

Yeah...back upstairs!

Pichu: DIE!

Outside! Please! Let's go...outside.

Mewtwo: You all suck.

DK: Whatever.

Bowser: You all suck.

C. Falcon: We get it...

Ganondorf: You all- (gets hit by a mallet)

Popo: SHUT UP! (gets thrown high into the clouds by Mewtwo)

All: (look up)

Kirby: ...(laughs like Nelson from The Simpsons)

You better know who that is, or you don't exist. Yep.

Jigglypuff: Let's continue.

Fox: What?

Jigglypuff: Um...I don't know.

You were asking each other questions for fun.

Jigglypuff: Really?

Duh...

Jigglypuff: Who drinks?

Y. Link: ...Me!

Link: (runs by, knocks down Y. Link, sobbing) You're all mean to me!

Bowser: Wuss.

Link: ...(runs away, but then Popo falls on top of him) Ouch.

Jigglypuff: Now...who takes steroids?

Yoshi: Luigi.

Luigi: What? I like milkshakes...I like pills...I like to mix...

Jigglypuff: Who killed someone before?

All: Me!

Jigglypuff: Who's been horribly embarrassed before?

Luigi, Popo, & Roy: Me...

Jigglypuff: When?

Luigi: When I was asked to spell "the".

Nana: That's easy! T-H-A!

Mewtwo: You all suck.

Popo: (groans) Just now...

Roy: I was practicing with my sword, when I, um, let it slip...and it stabbed a Koopa.

...So?

Roy: It was...embarrassing.

Master Hand arrives with urgent news.

MH: I have urgent-

Mewtwo: We know.

MH: Anyway, we have some guests coming soon. They are from the anime realm.

All: (excited gasps)

Nana: Excel?

Yoshi: Kintaro?

Kirby: Hamtaro?

All: ...

Kirby: What?

MH: ...We don't know yet, but they're coming. Try to- what the hell..?

There is a distant explosion.

Pikachu: (soaring through the air) PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! (lands on Popo, who, for some unknown reason, is still on top of Link)

Link: (looks up) God...help me... (gets crapped on by a bird) Eww...

MH: See you later...weaklings! (laughs diabolically) Oh. (leaves)

Pikachu: What happened?

Mr. G&W: (You better know who I am, or I'll haunt you for the rest of your days!) We're havin' anime company!

Ness: (runs by really, really, really, really, really, really quickly) Great. (screams)

Yoshi: Let's prepare!

_So, what'll happen when the anime characters arrive? Will Link be free of his troubles? Will Pichu get over his chips? Send reviews on what you think'll happen, or you'll hafta wait, Bill!_

_Don't be a monkey! Keep your monkey!_


	2. MIXTURES

Chapter 2: M-I-X-T-U-R-E-S

_Once again, I am back. I think the 1st chapter was kind of...what's the word...fast. Don't worry, though! My stories develop as they continue. You'll see. Oh. I don't own crap. This goes for my other stories, too. Reading time!_

The Smashers are getting prepped for their visit...s. Some are more enthusiastic than others.

Yoshi: (on the roof, holding a big sign that says "I'm Yoshi! Pet me or you die!" )

Need I say more? What? I do? Oh...

Peach: (wearing a short, and I mean short, red dress and red shoes) I hope he comes soon...

Ness: (wheezing)

Mario: Peach? I never saw that dress before...

Luigi: ...(coughing) She's cheating...

Peach: What was that?

Luigi: Nothing. Not a thing.

Peach: ...

Mario: ...

Luigi: (bursts out laughing)

Ha. Upstairs...

Pichu: Stupid Pikachu. Eating my chips. Got a hole in the ceiling...

Marth: (comes in) You getting' ready?

Pichu: (growls)

Marth: Sorry... (backs away) Everybody's all hyped up...it's just a visit...

C. Falcon: What's your favorite underwear size?

Marth: ...Get a life, dumbass. (walks away)

C. Falcon: Man. I can't think of a single good question...Ooh, I got one! (runs downstairs)

What's going on downstairs? Link is lying on the couch, as well as Pikachu and Popo. Yes. On the same couch. Peach is staring out the window, Mario is staring at her, and Luigi...is snickering. Sad. Ness is still catching his breath. Everyone else is outside. Oh. Zelda is searching for a hair growth spell.

C. Falcon: What's happenin'?

Link: (paranoid) What? Who-who's that?

C. Falcon: Link...have you gone down the other road before?

Translation: Were you ever gay?

Luigi: Plenty of times.

Link: (still paranoid) It's-it's true! Just don't yell at me! (crying)

C. Falcon: ...Anyway, next question! Mario?

Mario: (absent-mindedly) What is it?

C. Falcon: Have you ever...done it with Daisy instead of Peach?

Luigi: (immediately stops snickering)

Mario: I don't remember...it might've been both...

Repent all sins...

Mario: Why?

You're dead, buddy!

Mario: (gets choked by Luigi) Oh...that's what he meant...

Luigi/Peach: WHAT?!? IS THIS SH*T TRUE?!?!?

Mario: Umm...ack! I don't remember! Honest!

C. Falcon: Yeah. C. Falcon leave. Bye! (runs outside)

Good luck, Mushroom Man. Outside...

Falco: For the last time, no!

C. Falcon: What happened?

Y. Link: He won't answer the question!

Jigglypuff: Falco, do you have hobbies?!

Falco: Make me answer!

Mewtwo: Fine. (levitates Falco and spins him around repeatedly) Answer the question so we can get on with our lives.

Falco: All right! I...collect...plushies! There! (drops to the floor) I said it!

Fox: No wonder you always ask to hug my tail!

Nana: I never knew...

Falco: Well now you do!

Kirby: ...(Nelson laugh)

C. Falcon: Which one is your favorite?

Falco: (disturbingly blushes) I can't tell...I really like my Yoshi plushie...

All: (step back)

You shouldn't have said that...

Yoshi: (falling at high speed above Falco, ready to hug) SOMEBODY LOVES ME!!!!! (crash!) You wuv Yoshi? Huh? Huh? (licks Falco and hugs him tightly) YOSHI WUVS YOU TOO!!!!!

Falco: IT'S NOT THAT SERIOUS!!! GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!!!!

There are a few honks from a limo.

Ganondorf: (girly voice) They're here! (normal voice) Sorry!

_Well, well, welly, well, well! The characters have arrived! Who are they? What'll happen when they come out? In the next chapter, find out will you! Please feel free to request any anime characters for this story. If I know them, you might see them!_

Peppers must die...


	3. MIXUP

Chapter 3: M-I-X-U-P

_There's a whole lot of stupid sh*t goin' on. You think __**this** is crazy? If you say yes, you're wrong. If you say no, you suck. Original format! Like I said, keep sending those requests! Anyway, enjoy! Or try!_

The limo has arrived! Who will the character(s) be? What will happen afterwards? When will I stop asking questions that hold back the story? Just read!

Yoshi: They're here? (immediately goes back to the roof, gets ready to pounce)

The limo door opens...

All: (lean forward suspectingly)

There's a shadow...

All: (lean more forward)

Almost out...

Ganondorf: (screams like a girl) Ahem. Sorry.

It's...Excel!

All: (cheering)

Excel: Wow! These people really like Ex-oof!

Yoshi: (lying on top of Excel) Hi! I'm Yoshi! Aren't I cute? Huh? Huh?

Excel: As cute as you may be... (kicks Yoshi off) ...you're also very annoying and you need to beat it!

Falco: Go inside.

Jigglypuff: Wait! Where are the others?

Excel: Uh...Excel hasn't heard of any others? There are others? Where are the others? So I'm not the only one here, or coming here! Thank God!

Nana: The others are inside! C'mon!

10 mins later...

Mario: What do we do now?

All: Hmm...

Excel: Ah! Excel has an idea! The best way to pass the time is by playing games!

Hell, yeah!

Y. Link: A trivia game?

Luigi: A party game?

Ness: A video game?

Peach: We can do those. First, trivia! Multiple choices!

AJ: I'll ask the questions!

Yep. That's me...

AJ: We're going clockwise. Sit in a circle.

5 mins later...

AJ: First question for Pichu. An onion is a type of...

A. Fruit

B. Steak

C. Vegetable

D. Potato chip

Pichu: PIKACHU!!!! GIVE ME MY CHIPS!!!!!

(gun cocks)

AJ: (holding rifle) Answer the damn question.

Pichu: C. Vegetable.

AJ: Correct! Fox, a group of sheep is called a...

A. Flock

B. Herd

C. Fleet

D. Group of sheep

Fox: Um...A. Flock.

AJ: Nope. It's B. Herd. You're out.

Fox: That's a bunch of bullsh*t!

(gun cocks)

AJ: Get your ass outta here!

Fox: Fine! (leaves, stomping)

AJ: We need an environment. Dim the lights!

(dim)

DK: Who did that?

AJ: (shrugs) Next question, Link. The 251st Pokemon is...

A. Mewtwo

B. Raikou

C. Bulbasaur

D. Celebi

Link: I'm gonna go with...A. Mewtwo.

Mewtwo: IDIOT!!! (flings Link out of the mansion)

AJ: Now, Peach, out of these foods, which can be altered the most?

A. Rice

B. Chicken

C. Pasta

D. Pop Tarts

Peach: B. Chicken.

AJ: ...Hell, yeah! Rat- I mean, Pikachu...you use the Heimlich Maneuver when someone is...

A. Eating

B. Suffocating

C. Choking

D. Pissing you off

Pikachu: B. Suffocating.

AJ: Bye!

Pikachu: But-

(gun cocks)

Pikachu: (walks away)

AJ: Excel, my favorite anime, well, one of three, is...

A. Pokemon

B. Excel Saga

C. Chobits

D. Neon Genesis Evangelion

Excel: Excel would be extremely proud of herself if I say the answer I think is and should be right, which is B! Excel Saga!

AJ: Yep! I wish it didn't end so soon but anyway, Jigglypuff, what would happen if somebody ate my chicken?

A. I'd kill someone

B. I'd shoot someone

C. I'd find more

D. I'd say "Quack!"

Jigglypuff: How the f*ck am I supposed to know that?!

(gun cocks)

AJ: Answer the damn question.

Jigglypuff: Uh...umm...D?

AJ: Last in sequence! You lose!

Jigglypuff: (leaves)

AJ: C. Falcon, are you stupid? (Hey, it helps the story.)

A. Yes

B. Yes

C. Yes

D. Yes

C. Falcon: Uh...A?

AJ: Yep! Yoshi, green is the color of...

A. Grass

B. You

C. Leaves

D. Caterpillars

Yoshi: B!

AJ: Nope!

Yoshi: What?!

AJ: Bye!

Yoshi: (leaves)

AJ: Ness, put these in order.

A. -

B. Q

C. ,

D. /

Ness: B, D, A, C.

AJ: Wow...he's right...Mewtwo, you are best described as...

A. Dark

B. More Dark

C. Very Dark

D. Extremely Dark

Mewtwo: (teleports)

AJ: Be like that! DK, bananas are...

A. Your favorite food

B. Yellow

C. Long

D. ...Long

DK: All of the above!

AJ: That's not a choice! Bye!

DK: (leaves)

AJ: Zelda, which is most accurate?

A. Link is unlucky

B. These questions are dumb

C. The chicken came before the egg

D. This chapter is long

Zelda: That's pretty tough. Um...B!

AJ: Ooh! So close! It was A! Bye!

Zelda: (teleports)

AJ: ...Roy, which of these monsters is most fun to kill?

A. Goomba

B. Redead

C. Koopa

D. Ganondorf

Ganondorf: Hey!

Roy: Definitely D. Ganondorf.

AJ: Yep! Here's a stick. Go beat his ass.

Roy: Okay! (beats Ganondorf's ass with the stick)

Ganondorf: (runs away, screaming like a girl)

AJ: Mario, is-

Mario: Pudding!

AJ: ...Is the monkey in the basement asleep?

A. Yes

B. No

C. Uh...

D. I don't care

Mario: Uh...

AJ: Nope. It's B. Bye!

Mario: (leaves)

AJ: Bowser, a nickname for a bent golf course is...

A. Bar

B. Hook

C. Dog's Leg

D. None of these

Bowser: C.

AJ: Yep! Marth, is your sword better than Link's?

A. Depends

B. Hell yeah

C. Probably not

D. I don't know

Marth: B!

Link: What?! (Yeah. He came back.)

AJ: It's A. Depends on the attack. You go bye-bye!

Marth: (leaves)

AJ: Samus, are you in love?

Samus: No!

That's a lie!

Samus: Shut up!

Okay...

AJ: ...Bye!

Samus: (leaves)

AJ: Now...Dr. Mario...was the water cold?

Dr. Mario: ...(shakes Mario) You said you wouldn't tell anybody! (runs away)

AJ: And I thought Link had problems...Let's continue!

_And you get the picture. Will the game continue, or will the next character arrive? Either way...bye!_

_This chapter was too long..._


	4. MIXED Up, Messed Up

Chapter 4: M-I-X-E-D Up, Messed Up, F*cked Up, Your Choice

_A/N: This chapter takes place after the game ends. Who won? Uh…Ness. The brat won the trivia. Well, when the next guest arrives, new games will start. So…read!_

The group is waiting for the next person(s) to arrive.

Mario: Pudding!

AJ: Because of you, I have to stay here! Uh…who am I talking to?

Excel: The…pizza?

AJ: Oh, right. You got some nerve, you stupid…cheesy…delicious…steamy…mmm…pizza…

All: (staring, step back)

There are honks from a limo.

AJ: Ganondorf, you better not scream.

The door bursts wide open! Who is it? Why it's…the Those Who Hunt Elves crew!

Link: Who are you guys?

Junpei: What? You gotta be kidding.

Samus: He's right. You're not very…popular.

Airi: Sorry. When it comes to me, those words can't be put in the same sentence.

Ritsuko: Don't worry about it, guys.

Peach: (approaches Junpei, blushing slightly) Hi.

Junpei: Well, hello.

AJ: Can we start the game? Please? I know you guys. That's all that-

Junpei: Guys, look! Another elf!

Zelda: Huh?

Junpei: Get her! (gets smacked in the back of the head)

Celcia: Not now! We can wait.

AJ: …Dammit, let's play already!

Mario: And then we can eat pudding! Yay, pudding!

All: (silent)

Junpei: (whispers) This guy's an asshole.

Mario: …Let's just play.

10 minutes later…

C. Falcon: So, what are we playin' now?

Excel: Party games! Party games are fun! Party games are cool! Excel shall excel in these party games!

AJ: Our first game will be…a beloved game. Truth or dare!

Kirby: Yay!

Y. Link: I love truth or dare!

Mewtwo: (chuckles)

Fox: How's this gonna work?

AJ: I brought a mind reader!

Mewtwo: You did not-

AJ: Now everybody sit in a circle.

Oval…

AJ: No, a circle.

Square…

AJ: Circle!

Parallelogram…

(gun cocks)

Circle…

AJ: Starting with the rat- um, Pikachu. Let's go.

Pikachu: Hmm…C. Falcon, truth or dare?

C. Falcon: Dare me!

Pikachu: I dare you…to make me a sandwich!

C. Falcon: (gasp) No…not the sandwich…SPARE ME THE DREADED SANDWICH!

AJ: Go.

C. Falcon: (walks frightfully into the kitchen)

AJ: Next.

Falco: …Luigi, truth or dare.

Luigi: I want truth!

Falco: Is it true…that you've kissed Mario?

All: Hmm?

Luigi: Uh…no?

Mewtwo: LIAR!

All: What should we do with you?

AJ: Hmm…hey, wait. You kissed Mario before? You suck.

Luigi: Aww…

AJ: Now, your punishment…Shave your moustache!

Luigi: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

AJ: Here's a razor.

Luigi: …NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

AJ: Go-

Luigi: NOOOOOOOO-

(gun cocks)

AJ: Bathroom, now!

Luigi: (runs upstairs to the bathroom, crying)

AJ: (laughs) Next.

Pichu: Pikachu, truth or dare?

Pikachu: I'm not sure…truth?

Pichu: Is it true…that YOU ATE MY CHIPS!

Pikachu: WHAT! FOR THE LAST F*CKING TIME, I DIDN'T EAT YOUR DAMN CHIPS!

Mewtwo: …He's not lying…

Pichu: …(starts crying, runs away)

AJ: …Whatever. Next!

Fox: Samus, truth or dare?

Samus: Dare…

Fox: I dare you…to remove your armor!

All: Oooooooooooh!

Samus: You're daring me to strip? Bullsh*t!

All: Do it! Do it! Do it! Or face the consequences!

Samus: How bad could they be?

C. Falcon: (in the kitchen, trying to take bologna out of pack) Ew…it's so yucky…(sobs) WHY, GOD, WHY?

AJ: You had to ask…

5 mins later…

Samus: (outside) I had to ask…

C. Falcon: Isn't this great? We finally get to go out!

Samus: (points arm cannon at Falcon's head) If you try anything stupid, I'll blow your f*cking head off!

C. Falcon: …

Inside…

AJ: Next.

Kirby: Bowser, truth or dare?

Bowser: Dare!

Kirby: I dare you to let me hit you with my hammer 372 times!

Excel: Wow! How specific!

Bowser: What choice do I have? (gets hit by Kirby's hammer)

Kirby: (keeps hitting him)

AJ: …Next.

Yoshi: Jigglypuff, truth or dare?

Jigglypuff: Dare!

Yoshi: I dare you to become motionless for two hours!

Jigglypuff: (still)

Yoshi: (picks her up) Cool. (hits her in the air repeatedly) Puff…puff…puff…puff…puff…puff…(continues)

AJ: Next!

Mewtwo: …Puny mortals! Bow down to your new leader!

All: …

Mewtwo: Bow!

All: …

Mewtwo: …B-

AJ: Your dare sucks. Next!

Mario: Besides, I only bow down to pudding! Excuse me! I have to go to my shrine! (runs upstairs)

AJ: …

Mewtwo: …Fine then. You! (points to Yoshi) Truth or dare?

Yoshi: I'm scared to choose either… (continues playing with Jigglypuff)

Mewtwo: Good…

AJ: Next! Jeez!

Y. Link: Ness, truth or dare?

Ness: Dare! Dare!

Y. Link: I dare you to moon everyone here at random times!

Ness: That won't be too hard…

AJ: Next.

(beep beep)

All: Huh?

(boom!)

C. Falcon: (against a wall, groans)

Ness: (moons him and farts)

Excel: (staring at hole in wall) That is a really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really big hole!

Samus: (outside hole, pointing arm cannon at Falcon) How _dare_ you try to remove my helmet?

Nana: He already went…

Samus: (points cannon at Nana) Listen, you pink bitch, I'm really not in a good mood right now, so don't push me!

Ness: (moons Samus)

Samus: That's it! (points cannon at Ness's crack)

Ness: No! Don't do it!

(fire!)

Ness: (flying into the sky with a missle stuck up his ass, screaming)

AJ: (watching) …

Mr. G&W: Kirby's at 371!

Kirby: Last hit! (bam!)

Bowser: (falls to the floor a bloody mess, unconscious)

AJ: Next game!

_What'll be the next game? Will Bowser wake up? Will Ness come down? Will Samus calm down? Get ready for Chapter 5!_


	5. Crunch Into A Twix

_Okay…I'm letting you know now. This chapter is very short. Very very short. Got it? Now, on to the responses:_

Lacto3.1415- _Well here's your uber-short next chapter._

Lilium of Oblivion- _I'm glad you found it funny. Unfortunately, I don't know Inuyasha and Kagome _well enough_ to put them in._

_Speaking of which, all of the characters I've decided to add will appear in the many chapters after this one._

Chapter 5: Crunch Into A Twix…Hey! My Twix! Mine!

_A/N: I don't have a Twix…_

So, a lot of crazy stuff happened last chapter. What'll the next game be? It's gonna be good, I know that. Read! Now!

AJ: I have a great idea for our next game. It'll last for one week.

All: One week?

Ness: (rubbing butt) Cool!

AJ: Each day, we pull a different genre out of a hat or something. That genre becomes the day's theme. So I want Mario, C. Falcon, Zelda, Fox, Link, Kirby, and Mr. Game & Watch to write a story genre on a piece of paper and put it in Luigi's hat.

Luigi: Hey!

The Writers: (conversing)

All: (waiting)

AJ: (eating pizza)

The Writers: (writing)

AJ: You done?

The Righters (sorry, I had to): (nodding)

AJ: Let's see…(looking at the papers) Our categories are romance, humor…wait a minute…C. Falcon?

C. Falcon: Sorry, I had to.

AJ: Romance, humor, adventure, action…hey, they're separate…horror, mystery, and drama.

All: …

Airi: Um…

Ganondorf: What do we do now?

AJ: Hmm…go to bed, I guess.

Popo: It's nighttime?

AJ: Let's just say a lot of time passed.

Junpei: That's not-

AJ: Well, 'till tomorrow! (disappears)

All: …Good…night…

Mewtwo: I hope you all wake up dead.

All: …

_That's it. Yeah, I wasn't kidding._


	6. Adventure In The MIX

_The ultimate game has begun. And the first stage of it will begin after the review responses._

Lacto3.1415- _Yeah. Right._

Lilium of Oblivion- _I like that line too…_

Chapter 6: Adventure in the M-I-X

_Well, what should I say? Oh! I know! Read!_

AJ: Wazzup!

All: …

AJ: Let's see what our theme is. Number 9, the hat please.

Luigi: (groans, passes AJ the hat)

AJ: (pulls out piece of paper) Our first theme is adventure!

All: (cheering)

AJ: Everyone, we're going to find a treasure!

All: Ooh…

Mewtwo: Whatever.

AJ: Peach's swimsuit!

Peach: You know where it is?

AJ: Yep. It's on the other side of that mountain. The one behind the forest and the desert. Wait, those weren't there last time!

All: Aww!

AJ: Well, let's get ready!

Excel: …I'm talking? WHAT THE HELL TOOK US SO LONG TO SPE-

(gettin' ready for adventure)

Luigi: Mario…why are you bringing pudding?

Mario: Because pudding is my master!

Luigi: …You need help.

Falco: Yeah, like therapy or something.

AJ: Who picked adventure anyway?

Mario: (raises hand)

Junpei: Finally. Something to do besides act mute.

Excel: Do you _ever_ get hot in those parkas?

Ice Climbers: Never!

AJ: I hired actual adventurers to help us out with this.

Louie: You didn't hire us. You said you wanted us to play a game with you guys.

AJ: The adventure _is _the game!

Merrill: Will we at least get some money outta this?

AJ: …(shrugs)

Louie: Let's get the show on the road already! But first, I need a sandwich.

C. Falcon: …NOOOOOO-

All: Save it for drama!

(outside of the forest)

AJ: Well…the forest is first.

All: Yep.

Mario: Don't worry! The power of pudding will save us from any-

All: Enough with the damn pudding!

Mario: (whimpering)

(in the forest)

Link, Marth, Roy: (bushwhacking)

Young Link: (weedwhacking)

AJ: Young Link…you need beer.

Junpei: Beer? Where?

AJ: Another discovery.

Airi: Yes…

Pikachu: What do you mean?

AJ: Everyone has a certain object that they instantly react to.

Pikachu: …

AJ: Mario?

Mario: What?

AJ: Pudding!

Mario: PUDDING! Where? (runs into a tree) Ow…(falls)

AJ: Get it?

Pikachu: Oh…

AJ: Hey, Falcon!

C. Falcon: Hmm..?

AJ: Make me a sandwich!

C. Falcon: (running around in circles) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-(trips over Mario, muffled) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

AJ: This is fun…

(intermission)

Excel: What's with that?

AJ: I don't know. Jigglypuff, a needle! Watch out!

Jigglypuff: (screams, puffs into a tree)

Genie: Hey guys, we're almost out.

(confrontation with the lion)

AJ: Man, that lion was weak.

Ness: Wait!

Pichu: How did we beat it?

AJ: …Oh.

(rewind)

AJ: Let's see what our theme is. Number-

All: Not that far!

Mewtwo: Idiot.

AJ: …Oh.

(fast forward)

AJ: (unenthusiastic) Hey. Look. A lion.

Lion: (roars)

All: (unenthusiastic) Oh.

AJ: (unenthusiastic) Let's kill it.

All: (unenthusiastic) Okay.

Mewtwo: (lifts lion off the ground)

Lion: (roar?)

Link: (stabs lion in the head)

All: (bored) Hooray. We can keep going. Hooray.

AJ: Man, that lion was weak.

Ness: That was so boring.

Samus: What kind of half-assed adventure is this?

AJ: One that will go on a few more minutes, thank you.

(out of the forest)

AJ: There's the desert. I suppose no one here can produce water?

All: …

AJ: …Fire?

Bowser: Hello?

AJ: We'll be fine.

Roy: How do you figure?

AJ: (takes out Glacier GBA)

Melissa: Okay…what about it?

AJ: (GBA glows a bright light-blue) It's glacier for a reason. Get it?

All: …

AJ: Let's go.

(in the desert)

Pichu: It's so hot in here!

Ice Climbers: We're not!

Mr. GW: Are you mutants or something?

AJ: Nothing extremely bad should happen out here.

15 minutes later…

Pichu: (sinking in quicksand) Hello?

AJ: Let's keep moving.

Pichu: Um…guys?

C. Falcon: Hey! Snow!

Louie: We're almost there!

Pichu: GUYS? HELP!

AJ: Mewtwo.

Mewtwo: (picks Pichu up, places him on top of Yoshi's head)

Yoshi: Hey!

AJ: A few more minutes.

1½ hours later…

AJ: (tired) Not too long…

2 hours later…

AJ: (lying in the sand) We're…almost…huh? (looks up)

All: (standing in the snow at the mountain's base)

AJ: …(gets up)…Oh.

(scaling the mountain)

Ice Climbers: We love this place!

Samus: Stop being so f*ckin' synchronized!

AJ: …Kirby…

Kirby: Huh?

AJ: Chocolate syrup!

Kirby: (buries into the snow)

All: …

Excel: What's his problem? Chocolate syrup is da bomb! Excel loves chocolate syrup! Actually, Excel loves chocolate peri-

AJ: Come on.

Excel: Hey! Don't you interrupt me! Excel was not finished speaking! That is so incredibly rude of you! Who do you think you are, buddy? (continues talking)

Everyone else (except Kirby who's still buried): (walking away)

40 minutes later…

AJ: Perfect! Now all we have to do is go down the other side and obtain the ultimate treasure! The rarest of the rare!

Peach: How do we get down there?

All: …

AJ: I got it. Mewtwo, are you willing?

Mewtwo: Now what?

AJ: Take all of the light people and fly down.

Mewtwo: Whatever it takes to shut you people up.

AJ: Good spirit. Now, Yoshi, roll down in your egg. The Links can board down on their shields.

Link: I doubt that.

AJ: Fine. (freezes a path down the mountain with his GBA) We'll slide! Let's go!

30 minutes of sliding later…

C. Falcon: (head buried in the snow)

Marth: (stuck in the snow)

Ness: (moons him)

AJ: …Behold…

C. Falcon: (gets up) Ooh…shiny…

(angelic choir)

Mewtwo: You all suck. I could have retrieved this in less than 5 minutes if I felt like it.

(choir dies out)

AJ: It adds to the plot! Duh!

Mewtwo: (scoffs)

AJ: Peach, claim your treasure…

Peach: (grabs swimsuit) Wait. Which one of you hid it here?

AJ: Save it for mystery.

(back home, 8:00 p.m.)

Junpei: Home? We don't live here.

Merrill: Just deal with it. For now, anyway…

AJ: Hmm…we forgot something.

All: …

Excel: (drinking chocolate milk) We did?

(at the mountain)

Kirby: Hello? Is the adventure over? (sneezes) DON"T LEAVE ME OUT HERE! (echoes)

_That adventure was…not expected. What'll the next game be? Find out next time, I guess!_


	7. Love In The MIX

_Hey, you're back! Good! Normally, I'd respond to the reviews, but...I'm not risking that. Just watch out._

_So…read on!_

Chapter 7: Love In The M-I-X

_To those wondering, we did go back and get Kirby…at 1 a.m. Don't worry; he's not sick._

_Warning: So far, this is my longest chapter. And at this point, there are a __lot of characters, so prepare for a __lot of nonsense._

_Let's see how this will work out…_

AJ: A new day, a new theme. Number 9?

Luigi: (sighs, hands AJ his hat)

AJ: (takes out piece of paper) Our theme today is…romance. (throws paper on the ground) Damn!

All Males: Boo!

C. Falcon: Romance? Eww…I don't believe in love.

Samus: After 37 years, who would?

Falcon: …Ouch.

AJ: Well, if this is gonna continue, we're gonna have to put _some_ type of plot in this theme. Any suggestions?

All: (silent)

The author _has_ to do everything around here. Well, the captioner helps.

(yep)

AJ: …I'll be back.

(intermission)

AJ: (comes back) I got it! (runs away)

All: …

Yoshi: Did he just-

10 minutes later…

AJ: I figured it out! I brought some people that'll help to speed this up a bit. This guy's Kurama.

Kurama: Pleased to meet you all.

AJ: The other guy is Kintaro Oe.

Kintaro: Hello.

AJ: And the last guy is-

Excel: LORD ILPALAZZO!

AJ: (digging in ear)

Excel: Whatever are you doing here with the unworthy, Lord Ilpalazzo sir?

Ilpalazzo: This young man told me that help was needed. I came here to see what the big problem was. That…and I noticed you were here as well.

Excel: (gasps) He…cares?

AJ: Your presence changes everything. Now…for some chicks! Later! (disappears)

Junpei: (groans) Not again! Come on, let's get the game over with already!

Excel: Can this be true? Is this really possible? Ilpalazzo came here because of me? Little old me? I'm so happy! I could just-

Ilpalazzo: I _can_ hear you, Excel.

Excel: Eh…?

Kintaro: You talk a little too much. Though…you are pretty.

Excel: Sorry, I'm not interested! Didn't you just hear my rant? I'm currently infatuated and in infatuation with Lord Ilpalazzo!

Fox: Hooray. Shut up.

Kintaro: I'm hungry. I need a sand-

Falcon: N-

(drama's soon)

Junpei: What a bunch of bullsh*t. There's absolutely no romantic atmosphere in here. I have an idea.

Celcia: That's surprising.

Junpei: What'd you say? (growls)

Link: What's the idea?

Junpei: I'm thinking of the words summer, beach, and…um…

Celcia: That ended quick.

Junpei: Shut it.

Louie: A beach house!

Junpei: Yeah! That's it! It could be like a spring break thing!

Nana: In summer?

All: …

(…)

Junpei: Let's do it!

All: Okay!

Mewtwo: Whatever.

Bowser: I hate water.

Ganondorf: No soap, right?

All: …

(…)

Junpei: …Yeah. Sure. (under breath) Freak.

Ness: When are we leaving?

Mario: (eating pudding) We have to pack first.

Y. Link: Let's pack!

25 minutes later…

AJ: Is everybody ready?

(hey, wait!)

Melissa: Exactly where did you come from?

AJ: I brought more people! Welcome Tenchi, Ryoko, Ayeka, Mihoshi, Washu, and Sasami. Tenchi and his bitches. (gets punched in the head by Ryoko) You know it's true. (gets knocked to the floor by Ryoko)

Ryoko: Shut up.

Sasami: I hope this is fun, like you said…

AJ: (rubbing head) Me too. Now, let's go finish this long-ass chapter! And get me an aspirin!

All: Yeah!

(fast forward)

All: (at the beach)

AJ: We made it.

Airi: This is a pretty spacious beach. We could have fun here.

(thinking marathon!)

AJ: (thinking) Hmm…I need a pizza. Or some KFC.

Excel: (thinking) This beach is perfect for getting Ilpalazzo to fall for me!

Bowser: (thinking) These people suck…

DK: (thinking) I'm gonna kick Bowser's ass! Eventually!

Mario: (thinking) What did Luigi mean?

Luigi: (thinking) This'll be funny…

Peach: (thinking) I'm gonna get him…and he's gonna like it…

Zelda: (thinking) …

Ganondorf: (thinking) Who can I drown first?

Fox: (thinking) Pass.

Kirby: (thinking) They better not leave me _here_ too…

Yoshi: (thinking) Um…meow?

Falcon: (thinking) I can't take it anymore! The next time someone wants a sandwich…

Louie: I…oh. (thinking) I still didn't get my sandwich.

Falco: (thinking) I wish I could swim…I wish I had a plushie…

Tenchi: (thinking) Why does AJ keep doing this to me?

Mario: (thinking) I went already!

Ice Climbers: (thinking) Yep! We think in unison too!

Samus: (thinking) I hate them…

Mewtwo: (thinking) I think out loud, idiot.

(oh…)

Roy: (thinking) I was temporarily dead.

Y. Link: (thinking) Yay! Swimming!

Ness: (see above)

Pichu: (see above)

Ryoko: (thinking) This'll be good.

Ayeka: (thinking) This'll be _very_ good.

Dr. Mario: (thinking) I hope somebody drowns. I need something to do…

Marth: (thinking) I hope Link drowns…

Link: (thinking) Why is everybody so mean to me?

Pikachu: (thinking) I'm shocking everybody…

Sasami: (see Pichu's thought)

Washu: (thinking) She's gonna mess up again. I can feel it.

Mihoshi: (thinking) I'm not gonna mess up. I can- wait. Mess up what?

Mario: (thinking) Ah…pudding…hey!

Merrill: (thinking) I hope he spelled my name right…

Junpei: (thinking) This is gonna be awesome!

Ilpalazzo: (thinking) Let's see…how well-rounded these women are…

Kurama: (thinking) Now what?

Airi: (thinking) Hmm…

Mr. GW: (thinking) Can I swim?

Genie: (thinking) Hmm…

Celcia: (thinking) What a marathon.

Melissa: (see above)

Jigglypuff: (thinking) They're gonna use me as beach ball…

Kintaro: Girls…lots and lots of girls…

All: (groaning)

AJ: You totally killed the flow of thought!

Kintaro: I thought it was almost over! (gets hit by an egg)

(thinking marathon end…)

AJ: Fine…everybody in the water!

All: Okay!

(fast forward)

DK: Cannonball! (lands in seaweed, screaming) The spinach is fighting back!

AJ: Nice…very nice…very successful…hm? (looks behind him)

Kurumi: (tugging on Nako's arm) C'mon, master! Let's go over here!

Nako: Sure…

AJ: Just who we needed!

Kurumi: Who are you?

Excel: The better and more valid question is what are you doing in this chapter?

Kurumi: I really don't care. As long as I have my master! (hugs Nako, squeals)

Peach: Well, you might as well stay.

Mario: Yeah! And you can have pudding!

All: …

Junpei: (gets out of the pool) Cool. Lesbians.

Nako: (shocked)

Kurumi: Huh? What's a lesbi-

Nako: Don't…worry about it. (blushes) It doesn't apply to us.

AJ: (under breath) Total lie. (aloud) Volleyball! Who's playing?

All: (walking inside the beach house, muttering) No one…

AJ: …Oh. (walks inside)

1 hour later…in the living room…

AJ: Channel surfing! (presses Power button)

TV: Welcome to Smash News.

Ness: Boo!

TV: Now for our daily message from Master Hand.

MH: You all suck!

Mewtwo: You suck.

MH: No, you.

Mewtwo: No, you.

MH: No, you.

Mewtwo: No, you.

MH: No, you.

Mewtwo: No, you.

1 minute later…

MH: No, you.

Mewtwo: No, you.

MH: F*ck you, Mewtwo.

Mewtwo: What? (teleports to MH's area)

MH: What, you wanna piece of me?

Mewtwo: Die, you son of a-(click)

AJ: Next channel.

Louie: Hey, that was gettin' good.

Y. Link: Ya know?

TV: Now we return to Yoshis…Aliens or Not? Damn, that title's corny…who named this sh*t? (click)

AJ: Nope.

TV: (displaying message saying "Pikachu's cute. Pikachu's fluffy. Vote Pikachu for mayor!")

All: …What the hell?

Kurama: A rodent running for president? This world has issues…

Pikachu: What? (I said I'd shock everybody.)

AJ: (click) Whatever.

TV: Samus's Gadgets returns now.

AJ: Hmm…

Samus on TV: This is my Plasma Beam. It has incredible heating qualities. To demonstrate, I will melt the camera. (shoots camera, static)

Samus: That show never worked. (click)

AJ: Next.

Ness on TV: Kill the Pokemon! (click)

Y. Link on TV: Pokemon must die! (click)

Mr. GW on TV: Join us in the Pokemon annihilation! (click)

Sandbag on TV: Pichu hits like a girl! (click) Yeah, you heard me! (click)

Pichu: (runs upstairs crying)

Kurama: (sighs) So many issues…

Kintaro: Very educational…I guess.

Falcon on TV: I-(click)

Falcon: Hey!

TV: Now back to our Sunday movie.

Yoshi on TV: Boy. Sure am hungry. Hey, a plant! (chews plant, spits it out) I forgot. I hate plants…

Red Pikmin on TV: (squeaky voice) Hey! That was my best friend!

Yoshi: …Did the plant just-

Pikmin Army on TV: ATTACK! (jump on Yoshi, start beating him to death)

Yoshi: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (click)

DK: That was pretty funny. (gets hit by an egg)

Fox on TV: Fox and Falco here. Are you sick of people?

Falco on TV: Well we can't help you. Oh well!

Announcer: A world without Pikachu is like a commercial without a product. Leave Pikachu alone. Paid for by the very few friends of Pikachu…but not these guys.

Fox on TV: (whispering) We're accepting money for assassinations. $750 a hit.

AJ: (turns TV off)

All: Who cares about you, Pikachu?

Junpei: Screw you, Pikachu.

AJ: I'm going back out. (leaves)

(fast forward)

AJ: Dinnertime! Pizza for everybody!

All: (cheering)

(fast forward)

AJ: Man, that was good.

Kurumi: What's with all the fast forwarding?

AJ: The chapter is already long as is…

Excel: So?

AJ: Don't need it any longer.

Mario: Pudding pizza rules!

All: …

Junpei/AJ: You're a dumbass.

Mario: What?

Airi: A combination of pudding, cheese, tomato sauce, mushrooms, bacon- do I need to go on?

Jigglypuff: That's a huge health risk.

Mario: I'll take the risk!

AJ: (playing Melee) Who's playing? (Y. Link, Ness, Pikachu, the Ice Climbers, Roy, and Yoshi approach TV)

9:58 p.m.

AJ: No one beats me! I am the master!

Kurumi: Master! Are you getting sleepy? Huh? Master? (runs upstairs)

Tenchi: Well, I'm turnin' in.

(to what?)

Tenchi: Shut up.

(sorry…)

Tenchi: (walks upstairs)

AJ: Well, you guys should go claim your rooms now. There's 8. I'm sleepin' down here.

(fast forward)

AJ: Just you guys?

Kintaro: Yep.

Roy: Yeah…

Kurama: …

Ilpalazzo: I need to get away from that girl…

AJ: I got the couch! (jumps on it)

The Rest: Damn…

5 minutes later…

AJ: Good night, losers. (chuckles, gets hit by a pencil) Okay, I'm done.

All: Good.

(upstairs…finally)

Time out! You'd better know how this is gonna work out first. Here's how the room thing's going to go.

Room 1: Peach, Zelda, Link, Mario, and Junpei. Yeah.

Room 2: Kurumi, Nako, Jigglypuff, Nana, and Airi.

Room 3: Tenchi's bitches. I meant that.

Room 4: Ritsuko, Yoshi, Mr. Game & Watch, Celcia, and Excel.

Room 5: Pichu, DK, Marth, Bowser, and Luigi.

Room 6: Pikachu, Popo, Fox, Falco, Kirby, and Samus.

Room 7: Dr. Mario, Tenchi, Young Link, Ness, Louie, C. Falcon, and Ganondorf.

Room 8: Louie's bitches, and…uh…yeah. That's everyone. Mewtwo didn't come back, and Kurumi and Nako are bathing. Resume.

(Room 1)

Junpei: Well, the day is over and there has been about as much love in here as a church on Wednesday. You guys suck…

Peach: (thinking) That's gonna change soon…

Mario: (lays in sleeping bag) Good night everyone! Link?

Link: (making out with Zelda)

Mario: …Peach? You-

Peach: (asleep)

Mario: (sighs)

Junpei: You're not the only one looking for action. I wish she was kissing her.

Mario: Yeah…

Link: (thinking) Yeah…

Junpei: (claps twice, lights explode) Damn broken-down lights…

Peach: (thinking) Calm down, Peachy…just a few more minutes…

(Room 2)

Nana: I wonder what Popo's doing..?

Jigglypuff: I wonder what Kirby's doing..?

Airi: …

Nana: What's wrong?

Airi: (leaves room)

Jigglypuff: Where's she going?

Nana: I wonder…

Jigglypuff: Enough wondering.

(Room 3)

Ryoko: Why didn't Tenchi sleep with _us_? That's not fair!

Washu: It _is_ his choice…maybe he wouldn't be able to control himself…or maybe he wanted a break from us.

Sasami: He should be happy…

Ayeka: I think he's just scared of us. And by us, I mean Ryoko.

Ryoko: Watch it.

Mihoshi: That's too bad…

All: (sigh)

(Room 4)

Excel: Excel shouldn't be in this slightly spacious space! My Lord Ilpalazzo is right downstairs in the living room section of this house and I…I know I shouldn't! I know he'll be pissed! But-

Celcia: We get it. You're gonna attempt to steal a kiss from him while he's asleep.

Yoshi: Even I can see that…

Ritsuko: Well, you still have to wait a number of minutes. Good luck holding your desires inside.

Mr. GW: Yep!

Excel: (whimpering)

(Room 5)

Bowser: (snoring incredibly loudly)

Luigi: (throws a fireball in Bowser's mouth)

Bowser: OUCH!

The Rest: (laughing)

Bowser: Oh, so that's funny, is it?

DK: Yeah…(wiping a tear)

Pichu: Why do you gotta snore so loud?

Bowser: I don't know, and I don't give a damn! Now leave me alone!

10 seconds later…

Bowser: (snoring incredibly loudly)

Pichu: (throws a Thunder Jolt in Bowser's mouth)

Bowser: (roars) That's IT! You little RAT! (grabs Pichu, throws him out a window…a closed window)

Marth: …Good night.

Bowser: That's what I thought…

(Room 6)

Popo: I wonder what Nana's doing?

Fox: Wonder to yourself…

Kirby: I wonder what Jigglypuff's doing?

Falco: Wonder to yourself…dammit…

Samus: (asleep)

Fox: (staring at her)

Pikachu: I wonder if Pichu was thrown out of a window yet…(gets shot out the window…an open window)

Falco: Why don't you little f*cks listen?

Kirby: Sorry…

Popo: Fox? What's wrong?

Fox: (snapped out of it) Hm? Oh! Nothing. (climbs back into bed)

Pikachu: (yelling up) Yeah…sure…ow…

(Room 7)

Tenchi: Finally, some room to breathe…

Falcon: If I were in your place, I'd be a _little_ happier than that…

Ness: Not me. I don't need all that attention.

Tenchi: Exactly!

Ganondorf: But they love you…

(no way…)

All (including Ganondorf): What?

Falcon: Let's pretend you didn't say that…

Louie: You know what? (stands) I'm gonna go spy on girls.

Falcon: Sweet.

(zoom!)

Dr. Mario: …Damn.

Y. Link: Losers.

(Room 8)

Melissa: I'm going to the bathroom.

All: Right behind you.

(oh, crap…downstairs)

All: (asleep)

Excel: (sneaking down the stairs) Oh…I hope no one's awake…(standing directly above Ilpalazzo, blushing, heart beating loudly, sweating slightly) He looks so cute when he's asleep…I can't resist…(inching closer to Ilpalazzo's face)

(time to ruin the moment!)

Kintaro: (out of nowhere) Wait a minute! My nudity sense is tingling!

Excel: (screams, quickly runs upstairs)

Kintaro: Yes! I can smell it! To the bathroom! (laughing, running upstairs)

AJ: Yep…that's the Kintaro Oe I know…

Roy: (turns over) Ah, he's a loser…

Ilpalazzo: Damn it, Excel. Don't you get it yet…you silly girl...?

AJ: Obviously not…I have to go see something. (walks upstairs)

(yay! Bathroom time!)

Nako: (sighs)

Kurumi: Master? Is something wrong?

Nako: I have a bad feeling…but I don't know why.

Kurumi: Don't worry about it!

(knock knock)

Merrill: Hey! You've been in there for over an hour! Let someone else get a turn!

Nako: Oh! Sorry! (gets out of the tub) Come on, Kurumi…

Kurumi: Okay. (gets out of tub, dries off with Nako, putting on pajamas) Um…Master? (points at Louie and Kintaro staring at the two through the bathroom window, drooling)

Nako: They're…they're…

(perverts!)

Genie: (from outside the door) What? (destroys door)

Louie: Oh…crap…

Melissa: Louie, what are you _doing_ out there?

Kintaro: No! You've got it all wrong! You see, we got locked out…yeah! And then-

All Females: Stop lying!

(boom!)

Louie/Kintaro: (lying face up on the grass below) Ow…

Kurumi: Well, that's that!

Falcon: (out of nowhere) Oh…uh…did I miss some-

All Females: You dumbass!

Falcon: (screaming like a girl)

(boom!)

Falcon: (lying alongside Kintaro) Well…

Louie: We…

Kintaro: Tried…

All 3: (sigh)

Melissa: Now we can take our bath.

AJ: Damn. I missed it…

All Females: …

AJ: …

All Females: …Here we go again!

AJ: (takes out GBA) Sorry.

(big, bright flash)

All Females: (not moving)

AJ: That…is that. Whatever happens to them from now until 6 a.m. is not my problem.

3 Guys: (miraculously back in the bathroom) Really?

AJ: …G'night, horndogs. (disappears)

3 Guys: Sweet…this rules…

(Room 1 at time of boom 2)

Link: (pops out from under covers) What the hell...?

Zelda's Hand: (drags link's head back under the covers)

Mario: (staring at the two under covers, on verge of tears) What the hell...? (looks over at Peach, sees something moving in covers)

Peach: (smiling)

Mario: Oh, what the hell?

Peach: (opens eyes) Oops…

Junpei: (from under covers) What's wrong? Did I mess up or something?

Mario: WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON?

Various Voice: You're not gettin' any!

Mario: Shut up!

(Room 2)

Airi: He's not gettin' any…

Jigglypuff: Like you are.

Airi: Shut it.

Jigglypuff: Neither is…um…where's Nana?

Airi: You've gotta be kidding me.

(Room 3)

All: (laughing)

Ryoko: That's f*cked up…

(Room 4)

Excel: (breathing heavily, blushing, saying "I was so close" repeatedly and quickly)

Ritsuko: You almost had him…

Celcia: It's all that dumbass Kintaro's fault.

Yoshi: Oh, well.

Mr. GW: …Mario's not gettin' any…

(we get it…Room 5)

Bowser: (cracking up) Mario got played!

The Rest: …

Luigi: (begins laughing)

Marth: We're so alike now…(sniffle)

Pichu: (still outside) Loser!

(Room 6)

Pikachu: (also still outside) Yeah! Loser!

Kirby: It was destined to happen.

Falco: Popo's gone.

Kirby: And?

Falco: Fox and Samus just left.

Kirby: …Oh…God…no…oh, come on! No!

Falco: Yeah.

Kirby: Ew.

(Room 7)

Dr. Mario: Does this mean…she's open?

Ganondorf: No, you jerk. It means Mario got cheated on by a stranger.

Tenchi: Not really a stranger. To you people anyway.

Ness: Very sad.

Y. Link: Very wrong.

All: But very funny!

(downstairs)

AJ: Are you annoyed yet?

Ilpalazzo: Yes. This has been going on _too_ long.

Roy: Do something…please…

AJ: (GBA glows) Gotcha. (disappears)

Roy: …That's _not_ what I meant by something.

Kurama: Why am I even here..?

Roy: Captioner?

(ultra fast-forward)

AJ: Now…it's 8:30. Do you know where your breakfast is?

All: …

(you're a jerk)

AJ: Old news. Anyway, what have each of you learned during this experience?

Mario: (crying)

AJ: We all learned about that…

Luigi: My brother sucks.

Mario: (sobbing loudly)

AJ: …Number 9?

Luigi: Stop it. (hands AJ his hat)

AJ: (takes out piece of paper) Our next game is-

Mewtwo: Wait.

All: Hmm?

Mewtwo: I learned that all of you are total imbeciles. You have no place in exis-

AJ: Yeah, great. Our next game is…

_Not to be revealed until next chapter! Finally! This was way long! Unhealthily long! This took over 5 hours to retype! Because my computer was being retarded! But it's done, and that's what matters! From 1:30 in the morning, this is the tired guy…peace out!_

_Stay away from review responses for now! Remember that, little soldiers!_


	8. Horror In The MIX

_Yay! Resurrection! I start a lot of stuff with "yay"…_

Lacto3.1415- _Yep._

Max Fuchs- _Heh. Mario…_

Yoshizilla- _I don't think it's possible to make a sequel. Just more chapters…_

Skatepunk172- _Let's hope so._

Nakoya- _Well, they can't all be gems. Especially random crap like this._

_Yay!_

Chapter 8: Horror In The M-I-X

The discontinuation is now over, and all of the crazinessness can now resume! Everybody except for Kurumi, Nako, Tenchi, Tenchi's bitches, and…yeah, them…stayed. For reasons I'm too lazy to explain! The rest of us are back at the mansion, and it's totally nighttime! Now, what horrors await us? How many of us will survive? (insert question about our fate here)

AJ: Okay…so it was horror…

Falco: Did you plan anything?

AJ: I dunno. (sips juice)

Junpei: Well, I don't scare easily. Wait! I don't get scared at all! Bring it on!

Mewtwo: Bring it.

Junpei: I said it first!

Mewtwo: (eyes glow blue) Shut up.

Junpei: Okay.

Zelda: There's something in the house…

All: (gasp)

Kintaro: Oh no! What are we gonna do?

Louie: Wait. How'd she know that?

AJ: Don't ask questions.

(lights go off)

AJ: Damn. My batteries ran out…

Popo: I CAN"T SEE! THE HORROR! (runs around screaming and crashing into stuff)

DK: (sighs)

Pikachu: I'll go find the fusebox…

Pichu: I wanna do it!

Pikachu: No.

Pichu: Please?

Pikachu: No.

Pichu: Please?

Pikachu: No.

Pichu: Pleeeeeeeease?

Pikachu: (walks away)

Pichu: Hey! (tries to follow Pikachu, but crashes into Popo)

Link: We have to stay together. Or else we won't survive whatever's trying to kill us.

Peach: How come we didn't tell Pikachu that?

Link: He sucks.

All: (agreeing)

Pikachu: (distant scream)

AJ: And there he goes. (distant stabbing and chewing noises)

Bowser: Well, I'm having fun.

(thud)

Pichu: What the...? (screams) It stinks!

AJ: Yeah, dead rats tend to do that.

Ganondorf: What the hell are you people doing?

All: …

Ganondorf: I'm gonna go kill this thing. (walks away)

AJ: No! It knows you're trying to demolish the plot!

Ganondorf: (distant girly scream, distant stabbing and chewing noises)

(thud)

Excel: This isn't fair! This doesn't make any goddamn sense! Why does this thing keep dumping these dead, stinky corpses in here? And how is this thing doing so without actually coming in?

Ilpalazzo: Maybe it can create portals.

Excel: …My puny brain would never have thought of that…Ilpalazzo, YOU ROCK!

All: STOP KILLING THE MOOD!

Excel: (whimpering)

AJ: So…we're stuck in here. Anybody have any ideas on what to do?

All: …

AJ: Figures.

All: …

AJ: This is so damn boring…

(20 minutes later)

Merrill: Okay, that's enough. We're hunting this bastard!

AJ: Have fun.

Merrill: Who's with me?

Young Link: I'm gonna go kick this thing's ass! (runs out of the room screaming)

All: …

Merrill: …Well? Anyone who's _not _retarded?

(distant scream, distant stabbing and chewing)

DK: Me.

Samus: I've probably faced worse.

Yoshi: I wanna hunt!

Falcon: Let's do it.

Luigi: I'll prove myself!

Falcon: Really. Let's do it. (slap)

Fox: Can't be too hard.

Falco: Same here.

Merrill: So that's all?

Samus: Guess so.

Merrill: Okay! Let's begin the hunt so we can go to freakin' bed!

Hunters: (cheering quietly, tiptoe out of the room)

All: …

AJ: …Damn, I'm hungry.

Roy: Me too.

(32 feet away)

Falcon: My God…it's…it's…

Falco: HELLO KITTY! I have, like, a bajillion plushies of her!

Hunters: …

Hello Kitty: (giggles, then roars loudly)

DK: I knew this thing would be something small.

(multiple footsteps)

Fox: Many things small, dude.

Samus: Never mind. I've never faced worse.

Falco: (sobbing) Kitty…why?

Hello Army: (jumps on Falco, eats him alive)

Fox: No! PEPPY! I mean…damn, what was his name again?

Merrill: Charge!

Hunters: (charging toward army)

Army: (charging toward hunters)

(32 feet away)

Zelda: (creating light with Din's Fire)

Melissa: Nice spell.

Zelda: Thanks.

(distant stabbing, gunshots, and explosions)

Ness: I wanna live!

AJ: So?

Ness: I wanna live.

AJ: I don't care.

Ness: You're mean!

AJ: See previous.

Ness: (whines)

(loud explosion, screaming)

Falcon: (crawling towards the couch) So…many…

Fox: (crawling towards the couch) What…was…that guy's name?

Merrill: (lying face down, muffled) Ow. (springs up) That actually worked! It hurt a lot, though.

DK: We win!

(deep, sinister laughter)

Link: Oh, great.

A giant Hello Kitty steps on half of the living room, laughing. It is about 490 feet tall.

AJ: Oh sh*t.

Mewtwo: I will defeat this monstrosity. (flies up to the Kitty's face, throws Shadow Balls in both eyes)

Giant Kitty: (blinded, screeches)

Mewtwo: (is covered in light blue aura with those glowing blue eyes of his)

Giant Kitty: (covered in same aura, begins levitating)

Mewtwo: (brings hands together, quickly separates them)

Giant Kitty: (ripped in half, disappears)

Mewtwo: Done.

AJ: Yay.

Mario: (eating applesauce) What about the dead people?

AJ: (shrugs)

(lights come back on)

Mewtwo: (returns to living room)

Ritsuko: Seriously, what about the people that died?

Bowser: Everyone that died sucked.

Fox: Except what's-his-face.

All: FALCO!

Kirby: Dumbass.

Fox: Oh. (laughs nervously, gets covered in giant fluff)

Marth: And there's the small matter of having half a living room.

AJ: (walking upstairs) Good night…

Yoshi: All's well that ends well, right?

Airi: Not in this case…

Mewtwo: Will no one thank me?

Ness: You're mean! (is rendered unconscious by Mewtwo's brilliant mind)

Mewtwo: (teleports)

Peach: Well, this is Master Hand's problem, not ours.

Suddenly, Master Hand appears! With an explosion, cause those are nice.

MH: What the f*ck? What happened to my f*ckin' mansion?

Mr. G&W: Hello Kitty came and stepped on it.

Nana: She killed some people too.

MH: Again? Fine…go to bed. I'll take care of this.

Pichu: But-

MH: GO TO F*CKIN' BED!

All: (scrambling to get upstairs)

_Well that was weird. Um…that was weird. Good! What will the next genre be? I know I can't wait to find out!_

_Hello Kitty is _evil_…_


	9. Mystery In The MIX

_Forgive me for this taking so long…_

Chapter 9: Mystery In The M-I-X

Morning time! The Mansion is all fixed now, thanks to that hand guy! And the next genre is at hand. What will it be? Oh, wait, it's up there…Well, just pretend you don't know, okay? Okay? Yay! Let's get to the story!

AJ: Time for the next genre. Number 9.

Luigi: (hands AJ his hat) I'm going on strike…

AJ: Okay. The next genre is mystery.

All: …

Falco: …So…how do we pull this off?

AJ: (sigh) I'll be riiiiiiiiiiight back. (runs away)

All: …

Fox: Hey! You're alive, um…Falco!

Falco: Yes. Yes I am…

Bowser: (booing)

Pikachu: I-

Bowser: (booing louder)

Pikachu: …

8 mins later

AJ: Who better to help with a mystery than these guys? Conan and Detective Moore!

Moore: (laughing)

AJ: No, wait, not Detective Moore. Beat it.

Moore: (walking away sadly)

Conan: (chuckles)

Junpei: What? You got a kid to help solve a mystery?

Conan: I'm 17. I only _look_ young. And my name isn't Conan, either. It's Shin'ichi.

(sorry)

AJ: We're keeping Conan.

Conan: Why?

AJ: …I didn't think that far, so deal with it. Anyway…we need a mystery. And fast.

Link: Where's Young Link?

All: Hmm…

Airi: Looks like we have a mystery on our hands.

Marth: To Young Link's room!

All: To Young Link's room!

In Young Link's Room

Young Link: (asleep)

AJ: F*ck!

In The Living Room

Pichu: Well, that didn't work.

Conan: Can I go now?

AJ: No! We need a mystery!

Louie: This is boring. Now I'm hungry. I'm gonna go make me a-

C. Falcon: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- (gets stepped on by Excel)

Louie: (screaming from the kitchen)

All: (rush into the kitchen)

Melissa: Louie, what happened?

Louie: …_Look._ (points inside fridge)

All: (look)

Louie: No…lunchmeat…

Conan: (bored) So buy some more.

AJ: No, no, wait. _This_ will be our mystery. The Mystery Of The Missing Lunchmeat!

Conan: (groans) This is pathetic.

Zelda: So now we need to look for clues.

Celcia: Look! On the floor! Bits of turkey, ham, and bologna!

Roy: Covered in…paw prints!

All (except Conan and Mewtwo): (gasp)

Ilpalazzo: Okay, so now we now that the culprit is not human.

AJ: We also know that whoever took the meat is sloppy and went into the backyard.

All: To the backyard!

In The Backyard

Peach: I forgot how big this place is…

Excel: (running around wasting energy)

AJ: Anybody see anything?

Pichu: There's a hole in the wall over there.

All: (rush to hole in wall)

Merrill: Whatever did this broke in, because the bricks are in the yard.

Ritsuko: And whatever did this is about…3 feet tall.

Link: These bricks are half-eaten, too.

Samus: So that means…whatever this thing is…we've never seen it.

All: …

Yoshi: That thing's still in the mansion! (screams and faints)

C. Falcon: 3 feet tall? No problem!

Mewtwo: Yes. No problem at all.

AJ: To the living room!

In The Living Room

Ganondorf: …Well, Falcon?

Falcon: What? I don't wanna go after it _too_ fast…

Conan: This mystery _sucks_.

AJ: Oh, be quiet.

(loud growling from upstairs)

Louie: Oh, screw this! I want my damn sandwich! (stomps upstairs)

4 seconds later

Louie: (on the floor in the middle of the living room, face down, slowly stands up) Ow.

Genie: So what was it?

Louie: It was…I don't remember. (gets stepped on by Excel)

Mario: Thanks. You were a big help…

AJ: That's it. Everybody jump it! To the thing!

All: To the thing!

2 mins later

In The Living Room

Conan: I got more lunchmeat.

Louie: (snatches lunchmeat, goes to make a sandwich)

Bowser: Well, we killed it.

Pikachu: How did-

Bowser: (booing)

Pikachu: (groans)

Junpei: What kind of mystery was that? We just killed a Pikachu on steroids.

Airi: Now we have a new mystery. Who's gonna clean it up?

All: …Louie! (runs away)

Louie: (comes back with a sandwich) What? Where'd everybody go?

An hour later

All: (back)

Louie: Cleaning that up was disgusting…

AJ: Okay, we just "completed" another genre. So…everybody take five…and we'll meet here tomorrow and do it all again.

All: To the disco!

At The Disco

All: (throwing food at disco dancers)

Disco Dude: Ow! What's wrong with you? (gets hit by a bag of marshmallows with a brick inside)

Bowser: (booing) You all suck! Disco is dead! Sit your asses down somewhere!

(building collapses)

2 mins later

All: (outside of disco)

DK: …What the hell did we just do?

_Don't worry about it! Our "mystery" has been solved and killed! The next day brings the next one! Maybe we'll actually try to follow the rules! Then again, maybe we won't! No, we probably won't._

_Seriously…that mystery sucked…_

_It really did._


	10. Drama In The MIX

_Yay! More 'tardedness!_

Chapter 10: Drama In The M-I-X

Only 3 genres left, counting this one. How will this tale survive past that point? No, wait. I'm thinking too far.

Drama time! It's time to get all dramatic and intense! Let's see how it goes.

AJ: Number 9.

Luigi: No. They know already.

AJ: Fine…

Popo: So how do we pull this one off?

Yoshi: Well, for starters…(throws a BLT at C. Falcon)

Falcon: (gets slapped in the face by it, about to cry) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…OOOOOOO!

All: …

Kintaro: Feel better?

Falcon: (breathing hard, tearing)

AJ: First, we need some good drama people thingies to help us out. (runs away)

Zelda: Where does he find these people, anyway?

Louie: (shrugs, picks up BLT, begins eating)

10 mins later…

AJ: I could only find these three. Shinji, Asuka, and Rei.

Asuka: You say that like you wanted to find someone else!

AJ: …Duh? Anyway…does anyone here have a gun? Anyone.

Fox/Falco: (raise hand/wing)

AJ: That shoots bullets?

All: …

Rei: (pulls out a pistol)

AJ: Okay then. Now-

(gunshot)

All: …(oh, the suspense!)

DK: Well? Who got shot?

Ritsuko: Well, me. But I'm wearing a bulletproof vest on.

All: Crap!

Ritsuko: Hey! (slaps everyone except Mewtwo)

Melissa: Louie, I'm pregnant!

All except Mewtwo: (gasp!)

Merrill: (cracking up)

Louie: (total shock!) Where was I when this happened?

Ila: (out of nowhere) I HATE YOU! (knees Louie in the groin, runs away sobbing)

(oh, the drama!)

Louie: (straining) Wait, Ila…(falls over) Let me learn, then explain…

Melissa: (nervous) Yes, it is quite weird, isn't it?

AJ: They're leaving after this genre.

Pikachu: (nodding) Huh?

Eva Pilots: (leaving)

Louie: What? Was I asleep or something?

Melissa: (heavy blush)

Louie: …

All: …

Mr. G&W: That's _weird._

Melissa: Well-

All: Shut up, weirdo!

Excel: Yeah! (thinking) Wonder if that'll work with…no, wait, I've never ever ever never ever ever never _ever_ seen him sleep a day before in my life! (talking out loud) And I see him a hell of a lot! But maybe I could give him some sleeping pills after I lure him into a big room with a big bed, and then-

Ilpalazzo: Can I borrow this? (takes Rei's pistol, shoots Excel in the head)

Excel: (dies)

AJ: That's like the seventh time she died.

All: …

Ganondorf: This is retarded.

Louie: I WAS F*CKING ASLEEP?

Melissa: Well, you would've said no if I asked you!

Louie: (laughs out loud)

Ila: (back) YOU BASTARD! (knees Louie in the groin, runs away sobbing)

Louie: (straining) Why me..?

Great Will of the Macrocosm: Sorry I was late. Hair appointment.

(reality bend!)

Yoshi: (throws a BLT at Falcon)

Falcon: (gets slapped in the face by it, about to cry) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…OOOOOOO!

AJ: Didn't I just leave?

Mario: (gnawing on Kirby) Not anymore.

AJ: Hmm…who picked drama again?

Kirby: (swallowing Mario, raises hand, gets hit by a cowbell)

Melissa: Louie, I want you!

Louie: Well, duh.

Ila: I want you too!

Louie: Duh.

Merrill/Jeanie: We don't want you.

(Jeanie: name correction!)

Louie: Well, d- wait. Damn…

Peach: Junpei, I want _you_!

Junpei: Again? (gets tackled by Mario)

Mario: (cursing, yelling, beating up Junpei)

Junpei: (kicks him into a wall through a lamp)

Mario: (feels back of neck) I'm bleeding…(collapses)

All except Mewtwo: (gasp!)

Luigi: (cracking up)

Dr. Mario: Me! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Y. Link: (slitting wrists with sword)

AJ: Yeah, Ganondorf was right.

Ganondorf: Of course I was. I'm Ganondorf.

Great Will: You called?

Excel: Actually, no, but do your stuff anyway!

(reality bend!)

Yoshi: (throws a BLT at Falcon)

Falcon: (gets slapped in the face by it, about to cry) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…OOOOOOO!

Falco: Is there a reason we keep going back to that part?

Pikachu: (nodding) Wait, huh?

Bowser: (kicks Pikachu in the back of the head) Pay attention!

Pikachu: (feels back of head) I'm bleeding…(collapses)

Pichu: (sobbing uncontrollably)

All: Enough is enough!

Mewtwo: (does that memory wipe thing he did in The First Movie)

The Next Day

Everybody except Mewtwo: (asleep in the living room)

Great Will: Hey! Now I feel unimportant…(disappears)

AJ: (wakes up) …What the...? What happened yesterday?

Mewtwo: We are on the 6th genre.

AJ: Okay.

(after showers, teeth brushing, and breakfast)

Jigglypuff: New genre!

_That didn't go too well, obviously. But the suspense! The drama! The low-blows and the crying! The fighting and the bloodshed! The BLT! Oh, that BLT! So dramatic! So beautiful…_

_Only two left…_


	11. Humor In The MIX

_Oh my God, the craziness is yet to die!_

Chapter 11: Humor In The…Riiiiiiiiiight…

Cool! Humor! Time to…wait, weren't we…uh…oh, fine. Time to get zany and even more random than usual! Is that possible? Huh? Is it? We'll see…

AJ: …

Luigi: (sitting in the corner)

Mario: (laughing at him)

C. Falcon: Heh. I picked this one.

All: Yeah, thanks.

Kintaro: So…now what do we do?

AJ: We need humor people- (gets hit by a stuffed elephant)

Excel: Hello?

AJ: Oh. All we need then is a setting. Cause this one sucks.

DK: To the park!

At the playground

Bowser: (scaring the living daylights out of little kids, torching parents and various other things)

All: …

Ilpalazzo: Point?

Samus: Hell no.

DK: I didn't mean this park…

At the park

All: (sitting near a large fountain)

Bowser: (torching pigeons)

Mario: (eating yogurt mixed with pudding) That's better…

Kirby: I have a mallet.

All: …

Kirby: Jigglypuff, wanna play hockey?

Jigglypuff: Where's your puck?

(whack)

Jigglypuff: (stuck in a tree)

Peach: That was mean!

Kirby: Point?

Peach: That was mean.

Roy: I HAVE TEH POWER!

All: Shh…

Roy: To get Jigglypuff down.

All: Shh…

Roy: I'll burn it with my Sword of…uh…Burn! (sets tree on fire with Sword of Something)

Jigglypuff: Wait! You could've just cut the tree down!

Roy: Then innocent people would get hurt! Duuuuuuuuh!

Jigglypuff: (growls, tree goes up in flames)

Bystanders: (watching burning tree) Ooooh!

Kintaro: Wow. That tree's pretty when it's burning. (slap)

Zelda: Idiot.

Link: Does anyone here wield water _now_?

Mr. G&W: I have oil! (rushes to the tree, throws oil on it, tree explodes)

Bystanders: (flying off in different directions, ablaze, screaming)

Roy: (pats G&W on the head) Good boy. (slap)

Ritsuko: She couldn't have survived that…

Junpei: Like it matters! It'll all go back to "normal" soon enough.

Airi: That's true. Still mean, but true.

Bowser: (eating fried pigeon, which must taste pretty bad) Can we go now?

AJ: Yeah. Let's go get some burgers.

DK: To the chicken spot!

At the chicken spot

Y. Link: They make burgers too?

Link: Burgers, chicken, pizza, ice cream, mashed potatoes, pudding, pie, rice, cheese fries, patties…

Y. Link: This is like a God restaurant or something.

Link: That's what I thought…

All: …

Clerk/Manager/Owner/Janitor: What you want?

AJ: 50 burgers.

Clerk: Damn. Um, you're gonna have to wait like…half an hour for those.

AJ: Uh-huh. How much?

Clerk: …$126.

AJ: Here's $130, keep the change. You need it.

Clerk: Thanks. Guys! 50 burgers!

Fry Cook: What? You better pay us big time for this!

Clerk: Sure I will! (under breath) Not.

All: (chuckle)

30 mins later

All: (eating burgers)

Marth: Any idea what we can do now?

AJ: These are Ultimo Randomnessness Burgers of the Damned! One bite from each of you will bring one random event! Ha! Saved it!

Falcon: (clapping)

Dr. Mario: These are so unhealthy…but…bite 1!

All: (take a bite)

.730888888888888888888 seconds later

A naked dude with a red scarf gets hit by a pink Hummer. The Hummer crashes into an ant and explodes.

Excel: Holy hell that was some random sh*t!

Bystanders: (covered in bandages) Oooh…

DK: Let's try somewhere else. To the mall!

At the mall

Yoshi: Bite 2!

All: (take a bite)

.25534323908745623 seconds later

The mall explodes, killing everyone and everything in the vicinity except the main characters.

All: …

DK: To the- (slap)

Nana: I want a turn! To the daycare!

At the daycare

Pichu: Bite 3!

All: (take a bite)

.9 nanoseconds later…like that's possible

All the kids start singing Hakuna Matata, the techno remix by Daft Punk! They're dancing and everything…

Falco: That bass is awesome.

Celcia: So who gets the next-

Excel: I do! Me! Right here! Excel has decided to pick that one place everyone loves to love to love! That's right! To the zoo!

At the zoo

Excel: Bite 4!

All: (take a bite)

Immediately after that

All the monkeys start beating the sh*t out of all the other animals! Horrors! Elephants being slapped by their own trunks! Snakes being tied in knots and used as clubs to beat up other snakes! Apes twisting zookeepers' necks like bottle caps! Excel cheering for some odd reason! No one dared challenge them, since they had no natural enemies! Even DK joined in, swinging tigers by their tails and bashing things into the ground! So many exclamation marks! Oh, the inhumanity!

Luigi: Damn.

All: …(run away)

At the harbor

Peach: Why is the harbor so close to the zoo?

Fox: Peach…don't ask questions.

AJ: Bite 5!

All: (take a bite)

10 seconds earlier

A battleship fires bombs filled with honey at the harbor, trapping people in…honey. Duh. Kirby eats about 4 of them and passes out. Yoshi eats Kirby and starts choking on him.

DK: (punches Yoshi in the stomach, Kirby flies out his mouth and sticks to DK's face)

Ness: We only have, like, 3 bites left!

Dr. Mario: I got one! To the doctor's office!

At the doctor's office

Doctor: (performing open-heart surgery) Hey, Doc. Could you guys keep it down? This is kind of important work.

Dr. Mario: Sure. Bite 6!

Doctor: (stabs something inside patient with scalpel) Crap!

A second later

The patient turns into a zombie, yanks the doctor's arm off, and bites him, turning him into a zombie. Fox shoots them both in the head…but nothing happens.

Fox: Oh. Right.

Ritsuko blows them up with a grenade launcher. They die.

All: …(run away)

Outside the hospital

Junpei: 2 left. Make em' count.

Ilpalazzo: I'll make good use of the next one. To the rock concert!

At the rock concert

All: (amidst a sea of screaming fans, Ilpalazzo included)

Airi: Bite 7.

All: What?

Airi: Bite 7!

All: WHAT?

Mic Kirby: BIIIIIITE 7!

All: Oh. (take a bite)

3 seconds later

A guitar chord is struck and everyone in the audience that isn't important melts.

Pikachu: (watching Pichu puddle, about to cry)

…How'd…eh.

Pikachu: (sobbing)

Ilpalazzo: Excellent.

Kurama: I'll get the last one, if you don't mind.

AJ: Still here?

Kurama: Of course. To the mansion!

At the mansion finally

Kurama: Last bite.

All: (take a bite)

5.8.4 seconds later

Yusuke comes out of nowhere and punches Kurama into a wall.

Yusuke: Gotcha!

AJ: Where'd you-

The mansion collapses again.

All: …

Kurama: (trips Yusuke) You should save it for action.

Master Hand grabs Yusuke and throws him into the sky.

Bowser: Nice. (gets pounded into the ground by MH)

MH: Tomorrow, the anime people gotta go.

All: But why?

MH: Cause if they stay here too long, they'll never be able to go home. At least until I feel like making another portal.

Ritsuko: Technically, _we_ won't be going "home". Just back to Elf World.

Jigglypuff: Is that a theme park or something?

Junpei: No! It's a retarded alternate universe we're stuck in until…oh, I'm tired of explaining…

Yusuke: (lands in the remains of the kitchen)

MH: (leaves) I'll fix this thing later. Go to bed.

Falcon: It's 4:50! We didn't even eat dinner! (looks at burgers) Oh.

AJ: Fine, we'll go to bed…when we find them…

_Only action remains! Will the next chapter be the last? Will the anime cameos leave? Will Mario stop eating pudding? Will things ever be sane again? Only Action In The M-I-X can answer those questions! Supposedly!_

_Maybe this'll end. Maybe it won't._


	12. Action In The MIX

_We made it to the last genre! Cheering, rejoicing, slapping abound!_

Chapter 12: Action In The M-I-X

The final genre has arrived! And it's gonna be action-packed with lots of explosions! And slow motion! And swords! And guns! And car chases! And mediocre dialogue! It don't got to make sense! So let's do it!

Luigi: I want my hat back. (Matrix-dodges his hat, which was thrown at him, hat hits wall and explodes)

AJ: Cool. Now let's see. Which anime got the action necessary…?

The roof blows up.

All: (looking up)

Spike, Yusuke, Hiei, Kurama, the Sanzo Party, and Ash jump through the enormous hole. Ash lands on Bowser and is stabbed to death.

Junpei: Oh, who now?

Spike: (looking around) You said there'd be no pets here.

AJ: …We talked?

Gojyo: Great. All the girls here are either princesses or too young for me.

Sanzo: Get over it…

Samus: (keeping quiet to prevent Gojyo from knowing about her availability)

Bowser: (washing the blood off his body)

Ness: Where's the action?

The TV turns on.

TV: Breaking news! A mysterious, uber-powerful, evil force has kidnapped Master Hand and Crazy Hand, the Hands that organize the famed Super Smash Bros. Melee competitions. It "manufactures" minions highly trained in martial arts, weapon/firearm use, swimming, driving, and knitting socks for teddy bears. No one knows where they are being held but- wait…we have visual! Let's go to Adam. Adam, what do you see?

Adam: TV, this is some freaky sh*t happening here! There's this big, shadow-covered mansion, there's- you can actually hear the evil, maniacal laughing in the atmosphere. I don't hear the Hands, but we've predicted that they may be being used as…"Enlarged Instruments of Pleasure". Yeah. The force is probably horny and needs some help. EIP seems correct to me.

TV: Adam, you're a perv.

Adam: What?

The TV explodes. Marth blocks multiple pieces of shattered glass with Falchion.

Falcon: Should we save them?

Ilpalazzo: A better question is…how did the guy in the green uniform end up in the sky? And wasn't the redheaded homosexual already here as well?

Kurama: I'm not…(sighs)

Link: We need action. This is our action.

Mario: (eating pudding mixed with oatmeal) Fine.

AJ: …We need motorcycles.

In a huge garage somewhere in the mansion

Falco: There's 40 of them.

Kirby: (looking for a Wheelie)

Jigglypuff: Somebody carry me. I can't drive.

Pichu/Pikachu: Me neither.

Mewtwo: (levitates the Pokemon)

Yoshi: (wearing shades) Anyone else have any ridin' troubles?

All: No!

Yoshi: All right. Let's get it on. (jumps onto a green motorcycle, revs)

5 minutes later

(I'm not doing a list of everyone's ride, cause that'd take too long. You'll know 'em when you know 'em.)

Mario: (on a red motorcycle) Let's-a go.

Everybody drives/flies out of the garage. They drive/fly from a ramp to a highway. Yeah. That fast.

AJ: (on an icy blue motorcycle) Where'd the highway come from?

Yoshi: (on a green motorcycle, shrugs, almost loses control of bike)

Sheik: (on a dark blue motorcycle) That place is dead ahead…?

Bowser: (on a large, spiky chopper) It's action, not action/adventure.

Y. Link: (on one of those green mini-bikes) Speaking of action…

Everyone looks straight ahead at a convoy consisting of 12 tractor-trailers.

Pikachu: Mewtwo, you should stay out of this.

Mewtwo: Whatever.

The trailers split in half, revealing 60 different, black-leather clad cyborg warriors standing in formation.

All: (watching) …

The cyborgs jump straight up while the trucks explode. Mewtwo blocks the debris. The cyborgs, now with wheels for feet, and bootleg Gunblades for weapons, land on the empty highway and speed towards our heroes and villains. Each motorcycle sprouts training wheels for balance.

AJ: (GBA turns into floating ice-blue sparks) Ready guys?

Mario: (quickly finishes pudding) Yeah!

(freeway war!)

Marth: I'm a natural at this. (stands on seat, evades Gunblade fire, slices a cyborg's head off in slow motion)

Sanzo: (firing at cyborgs with Banishing Gun)

Mario: (throwing pudding cups and fireballs at cyborgs)

Bowser: (literally eating Gunblade fire) That all you got? (grabs two cyborgs, cracks their heads…in slow motion)

Yoshi: (jumps off motorcycles, turns into an egg, rolls at high speed into multiple cyborgs, destroying them, rolls back to bike) Didn't think that'd work. (swallows a cyborg)

Kirby: (doing the same, spitting stars at other cyborgs)

Samus: (charging Ice Beam, jumps straight up, fires at 3 cyborgs, freezing them solid)

DK: (grabs a frozen cyborg, blocks Gunblades with it, whacks cyborg over the head, both cyborgs explode in slow motion) Nice.

Kurama: (tripping cyborgs with Rose Whip) This is just too easy.

Hiei: You sound like you're complaining. (slashes through 4 cyborgs so fast that it takes them 4 seconds to split into multiple pieces)

Yusuke: It's not like he's lying or anything. (taking aim) SPIRIT GUN! (fires through the heads of multiple cyborgs in slow motion…and they blow up too)

Hakkai: And you have to admit…(charging energy ball in his hands) this is pretty fun. (fires straight ahead, destroys 2 cyborgs completely)

Goku: You got that right! (kicks cyborg in the head, spins around and does the same to another)

Fox/Falco: (firing away, Reflecting Gunblade fire)

Ness: (setting several cyborgs on fire, paralyzing several others)

Ice Climbers: (on same bike guarding each other with their hammers)

Luigi: These things suck. (runs over one)

Peach: (hitting cyborgs with a golf club)

Falcon: (elbowing random cyborgs)

Junpei: (doing the same)

Ritsuko: (throwing grenades at cyborgs, blowing them up)

Ilpalazzo: (pulls out electric guitar, blade sticks out of handle) It doubles as a sword. Just in case. (stabs through a cyborg's chest, striking a chord…in slow motion)

Excel: (marveling at Ilpalazzo's hotness, manages to veer off the road into a river)

Roy: Only 10 left. (slices 2 cyborgs in half with flaming Sword of Seals, cyborgs explode)

Spike: When do we get to the real action? (shoots cyborg in the head)

Gojyo: Guess you gotta wait. (slices through 2 cyborgs with crescent blade of shakujou)

Link: (blocks Gunblade shot with shield, stabs a cyborg) 4.

Mr. G&W: (flings sausage at cyborg, creates huge dramatic explosion) 3.

All: Damn.

Pikachu: (hits one with a Thunderbolt, pops it) 2.

AJ: (sparks circle a cyborg's head, engulf it, and freeze it, cyborg crashes to ground, head rolls off) Who gets the last one?

Y. Link: (shoots Fire Arrow at remaining cyborg) We win! On to the mansion!

At the mansion's front door…

Pichu: Big door.

All: (looking up at the 27-foot-high black double door)

Goku: Somebody should knock…

Everyone else: (several hundred feet away)

Goku: I meant somebody besides me…oh, fine. Bunch of wussies. (walks up to door, knocks on it fiercely, gets eaten by door)

All: (stunned silence)

Mewtwo: Let me. (hovers over to door, eyes glow blue, door explodes into a kazillion pieces)

All: (stunned silence)

Gojyo: I love this place already.

Inside the mansion's foyer, it's pretty much completely dark. That evil guy's laughter can be heard reverberating throughout everyone's ears.

AJ: (lighting room with GBA)

Samus: So, we lost two of our party members.

Gojyo/Sanzo/Ilpalazzo: Your point being?

Samus: …Let's find the Hands.

Kirby: How much you wanna bet they're upstairs?

The floor disappears.

Pikachu: (walks over to Kirby, slaps him hard)

Kirby: Ow.

Everybody falls except for Mewtwo, who continues upstairs.

Spike: Well, this is about as useful as…that hyper blonde chick back there.

Excel: Hey! What was that you said about that hyper blonde chick back there? Huh? I didn't hear you too well! What?

All: …

Excel: Oh! It would be kind of impolite as to not explain how I'm here falling with you people right now as we're falling, so I hope you have good ears! (begins talking obscenely rapidly)

4 seconds later

Excel: And I don't know _where_ that squirrel ran off to, but- (continues)

4 seconds later

Excel: Hence, why I'm here right now!

Spike: (shoots Excel in the head)

Ilpalazzo: That brings back fond memories…

Hakkai: This is quite a long drop. Think we'll die if we hit the bottom?

Yusuke: That'd f*ck up the storyline, so I don't think so.

Luigi: (repairing the shattered fourth wall) Now let's see. Which paint would look the best…?

A minute later

Yoshi: This is ridicul-

Everyone lands in a large pool of water. Excel floats straight to the top, while everyone else lands on the pool's floor, where there is a door. Everyone can breathe.

Link: This brings back not-so-fond memories…

Hiei: Can we just go through the door already?

All the water transforms into a large, compressed globe hovering in front of the only way out. It sprouts appendages and grows empty eyes.

AJ: Didn't see that coming.

Peach: How can we ever defeat that…thing?

Roy: We'll have to wait until Part 2.

Luigi: (admiring a perfectly repaired fourth wall) Ahh…this should be my new job. (wall melts) …(whines)

_Roy said it right! The final genre extends a bit, as most action tends to! Will our abnormally large party defeat the unnamed water monster? What's Mewtwo doing up there? Can Luigi keep that fourth wall up?_

_Part 2…coming soon!_

_That wall will never get fixed…_


	13. Action In The MIX Part 2

_Some more "action" for ya!_

Chapter 13: Action In The M-I-X Part 2

Last time we checked in with our ridiculously large party, they had fallen into a pit where they encountered a water monster of sorts. Excel returned somehow, and the entrance ate Goku. Also, Mewtwo proceeded to climb to the top to attempt a solo resolution. Now then…to the party!

Bowser: Well? Anybody got any ideas?

Popo: Let's freeze it!

Nana: And break it!

Ice Climbers: You read my mind! (throwing ice blocks at the monster)

Monster: (seeps into the ground)

Roy: Everybody stay alert!

Ice Climbers: (become engulfed in a geyser, monster regains form with them inside)

Samus: Well that didn't work. We need more ice power. (switches to Ice Beam)

AJ: Sounds like a plan. (GBA glows completely white) Ready?

Samus: Almost. (charging Ice Spreader)

Monster: (turns into a large ball of water)

Samus: Now! (fires Ice Spreader at monster)

AJ: (fires beam of ice at monster)

Monster: (begins rolling toward the two)

Kurama: Move! (everyone except Samus and AJ moves out the way)

AJ/Samus: (begin running backwards, still firing)

Monster: (steadily freezing)

AJ: Come on, come on…

Samus: Hurry up and- (hits wall) Freeze!

Monster: (almost frozen)

AJ: Freeze you bastard, freeze!

Samus: When it freezes, get behind me.

AJ: Right.

Monster: (damn near frozen, about 40 feet away)

Samus: Not yet…

Monster: (rolling ball of ice)

AJ: (stops firing, gets behind Samus)

Samus: (charging a Super Missile)

Monster: (15 feet away)

(ka-blooey)

Ice Climbers: (in their own little ice block)

Mario Bros.: (throwing fireballs at the block)

Junpei: Well, that was simple.

Ice Climbers: (thawed, yet still having fireballs thrown at them) We're thawed already!

Luigi: Oh. Sorry.

Mario: (stops) …(throws another fireball) Okay, now you're thawed.

Ice Climbers: (frowning)

Spike: Can we get outta here now? Please?

Yusuke: Yeah. Sure. Show us the door and we'll gladly ditch the pit.

All: (looking around)

Bowser: Move. Just move. (walks up to the wall, puts ear to it) Yeah. (punches hole in wall)

All: (looking inside)

The revealed room is completely dark, but the large, spiraling staircase is made of pure light. It goes up pretty far.

Gojyo: I swear, haven't villains ever heard of elevators?

Falcon: Hey! I want a witty transition phrase too!

Sanzo: _That_ was witty to you? (scoffs)

Gojyo: Fine. Go ahead, then.

Falcon: Okay. (clears throat, inhales)

Meanwhile…

Mewtwo: (approaching a huge, purple door) This should be it. (door bursts open, floats inside)

The room is somewhat of a hallway with blue-and-purple striped walls and a floor made of old, dirty wood. There is darkness at the end of the hall.

Mewtwo: (floating toward the darkness)

Goku: (in the distance, yelling) Get me out of here!

Mewtwo: (disappears into the dark)

Back to the stairs

All: (climbing the stairs)

Mario: (panting and eating Jell-O) How far up are we?

Hakkai: (looks down) I'd say about 48 feet, give or take.

Bowser: (thinking) Mario's pretty pathetic when it comes to stairs. I'll remember that for later.

Pikachu: What do you guys think this…thing we're after is?

Fox: Yo momma.

All (except Pikachu, Sanzo, and Kurama): Ohhhhhhhhhh!

Pikachu: That wasn't fair.

Falco: (high-fives Fox)

Ness: (looking up) Doesn't look like there's an end in sight.

Kirby: And what exactly happened to the action? It like, vanished.

At that exact moment, several portals opened up overhead. They started to glow.

Pikachu: (sighs, walks over to Kirby, pokes him in the eye)

Kirby: OW! Sorry! God!

The portals start raining down lightning on the group.

Excel: RUN! RUN YOUR FREAKING ASSES OFF!

All: (running as fast as they can)

The portals follow overhead, causing the unfortunate zapped to vanish. Mario, who had tripped, was the first to go. Oh well.

Luigi: Mario's gone!

Sheik: (several feet ahead) So?

Pikachu: This seems- (dodges a bolt) _so_ familiar. Except the bolts were balls, and the stairs were a ramp, and I was by myself...but yeah. Deja vu.

Bowser: I'm surprised I got this far. (zapped)

Ganondorf: (laughs, gets zapped)

Ice Climbers: (zapped simultaneously)

Link: (zapped)

Ilpalazzo: (zapped)

Excel: Oh no you don't, evil portal thingies! (stops) Take me to- (gets trampled by 13 people, then zapped)

Peach: (zapped)

Spike: Damn, this sucks…(zapped)

Airi: (zapped)

Junpei: They got Ms. Ai- (zapped)

Ritsuko: Junpei! (zapped)

Falco: Fox, you fast bastard, wait! (zapped)

Fox: Crap, that dude was too slow!

Ness: (attempts bolt absorption with PSI Magnet, but vanishes anyway)

Jigglypuff: (zapped)

Samus: (zapped)

Roy: (zapped)

Kirby: (attempts bolt consumption by Inhaling, but vanishes anyway)

Luigi: (jumps on Yoshi in desperation)

Yoshi: (trips due to sudden weight increase) Hey, what the f- (zapped with Luigi)

DK: (zapped)

Link: (zapped)

Jigglypuff: (zapped)

Mr. G&W: (zapped)

Pichu: (zapped)

Yusuke: Ah, crap. (zapped)

Marth: (zapped)

Young Link: (zapped)

Falcon: (with all the quickies) How many we got left?

Hiei: You, the rat, the fox, Kurama, the priest and his friends, the ninja, and that kid.

Kurama: We'll have to rescue them later.

Pikachu: Guys?

All: (looking up)

The stairway of light begins to fall apart several feet up. Eventually, the diminished party runs out of stair and stops.

Fox: Great! What now?

The portals combine to form one large portal. It hovers above the 10, about to launch a final lightning bolt.

Sanzo: If anyone has any escape tactics, now would be the perfect time to share.

AJ: (sucks teeth) This is gonna really f*ck my battery life up. (takes out GBA, which begins glowing) Everybody grab on.

Gojyo: Okay, but don't tell anybody I held a dude on purpose.

AJ: Yeah, sure.

The entire party begins to glow bright white. Right when the bolt crashes down, the party splits into multiple floating white sparks. They begin to fly straight up.

Falcon's voice: (echoing) Why didn't you use this earlier?

AJ's voice: (echoing) The batteries can barely handle it now. Didn't you hear me whining?

The sparks shoot straight up at high speed.

Meanwhile…

Mewtwo is in a strange room littered with translucent pink egg-like pods on the walls. It seems like every second, a new party member appears in one of the pods.

Mewtwo: What is this fiend planning?

Overly Sweet Voice: Oh, you needn't worry about that! (giggle)

The room lightens up. It is truly horrible.

Mewtwo: (looks toward the back of the room) What?

_And there Part 2 concludes! It may have been more bootleg plot development than action, but the grand finale will (should) make up for it. Whose overly sweet voice is that? What'll our heroes do about it? And exactly how can this all come to a reasonable end? M-I-X ends for good…next time!_

_First Inverstatue, now this…_


	14. Action In The MIX Part 3

_Let's wrap it up, once and for all! Or try! Yeah. 2 years of scripted nonsense dies today._

Chapter 14: Action In The M-I-X Part 3/M-I-X Till You Can't M-I-X No More

The climax and the resolution in the same chapter? Madness, I tell you, madness! Regardless, only AJ, Hiei, Kurama, Pikachu, Fox, Falcon, Sheik, Sanzo, Gojyo, and Hakkai managed to escape the lightning rain which transported most of the party, thanks to the power of the GBA. Hail the GBA! That resilient little thing…What can these 10 hope to do to end all this? Is Mewtwo okay? What are the Hands doing, if they're even alive? And, most important of all…um…no, wait, that's all the issues. Carry on.

Fox's voice: (echoing) I think we're approaching the top.

The sparks shoot through multiple objects, including (but not limited to) a pigeon, a floor, another floor, and a couple of wires. They ultimately end up in the very room Mewtwo's in. How shocking.

Falcon's voice: (echoing) Ding! Top floor! Evil villains!

Each spark becomes the character we know and love (unless it's Falcon, of course). Everyone looks at the "final boss" with disbelief, frustration, and slight confusion.

AJ: Of course. Another Hello Kitty thingie.

Overly Sweet Voice: That's Hello _Queen_ to you, commoner!

Hello Queen. Description: a Pikachu-sized Hello Kitty with a crown and scepter. Rock on.

Hiei: (looking at the pods) _What_ are you doing?

Hello Queen: I gathered up the strongest I could get my hands on so I can harness their strength for my own needs! Isn't that just adorable?

Sanzo: (flatly) No. (fires at her)

Hello Queen: (catches bullet) The Hands have so much power it's mind-boggling, so they take a while to suck the strength out of. But these guys…(playing with bullet) don't take nearly as long. It's like dial-up versus a T1 connection!

Pikachu: A what versus a what?

Hello Queen: And when I'm so powerful that no one even thinks about stopping me, I'll make this world the cutest and most cuddly in the entire freakin' universe! (maniacal giggling)

All: (staring at her)

Hello Queen: (still giggling)

All: (still staring)

Hello Queen: (still giggling)

All: (still staring)

Hello Queen: (out of nowhere) But first, you all have to die.

Falcon: Yeah, like you can kill the best of the best. (gets shot- rather, gets bullet thrown through his chest) Not…fair…

Sanzo: Saw that coming. Are you guys ready? Cause I'm sick of this place.

AJ: I need batteries…

Pikachu: Batteries are for normal people. You've got me. (zaps the holy hell out of the GBA, which glows intensely)

AJ: Oh. Dur. Thanks.

Fox: (presses button on headset) Oh, I'm ready.

Sheik: (preps multiple needles) Ready and waiting.

Hiei: Let's just get it over with.

Kurama: (whips out a rose) Yes. Let's.

Gojyo: (summons shakujou) I'm with the _other_ redhead.

Hakkai: What everyone else is saying…

Pikachu: (sparking)

Mewtwo: (in his blue bubble) Enough is enough.

Hello Queen: (stands up on her throne) You're totally right! (holds up scepter, which glows pink and begins to absorb visible life force from pods)

Sheik: (jumps up, throws all needles at her)

Hello Queen: (warps behind Pikachu, grabs him by the tail)

Pikachu: Hey! Get your own…wait. (gets thrown at Fox)

Hakkai: (throws a ball of yellow light at Hello Queen)

Ka-blooey.

Hello Queen: (protected by force field from scepter) Ha! Loser!

Hiei: (rushes by with sword drawn)

Hello Queen: You missed! (scepter turns to ribbons) Hey, that's not- (gets tackled by Pikachu into a wall)

Gojyo: (sends crescent blade hurtling at her)

Hello Queen: (narrowly dodges)

Kurama: Rose Whip! (rose turns into thorny whip, begins lashing at her)

Hello Queen: (dodges until attacked by a barrage of blue sparks)

AJ's Voice: (echoing) Where are the Hands so this sh*t can finally end?

Hello Queen: (swatting sparks) I'll never tell! You'll have to kill me first! (gets pinned to the wall by shakujou)

Gojyo: That all? Deal.

Hello Queen: Don't think it'll be so easy, fools! (gets shot in the head, dies)

All: …(look at Sanzo)

Sanzo: What? She had it coming.

AJ: (turns to normal) Well…game over? I guess?

Fox: What about him? (points to Falcon)

Falcon: (in a pool of his own blood, groans)

Kurama: Never mind him. We need to free everyone else and get out of here.

Hiei: (attempts to slash one of the pods in half) It's too hard.

Hakkai: I think there's something we didn't quite do yet.

Pikachu: Guys? Um…(points to scepter, which is glowing pink, hovering, and reassembling)

Sheik: We're not done after all.

The scepter turns into a large, pink, glowing ball, and embeds itself in Hello Queen. She is covered in a pink aura, and the hole in her head disappears.

Pikachu: Mewtwo? Help?

Mewtwo: (eyes glow blue)

Hello Queen: (ascending, covered in blue and pink aura)

Mewtwo: (groaning)

AJ: Yeah, this'll be tough.

Hakkai: She's really getting strong. It feels like the air is trembling.

Mewtwo: (gets knocked into a wall)

All the pods go dark.

Hello Queen: (distorted, evil voice) What'd I tell ya? (meows, sends everyone flying)

Fox: (springs up) Come on, come on…

Pikachu: You didn't…

The castle shakes violently.

Fox: Of course I did.

Gojyo: What exactly did you do? (castle shakes again)

Fox: That shaking is the Great Fox blasting the crap outta this place.

AJ: I get it. Can't bring down the host, so bring down the house. Nice.

Fox: (smiles)

Hiei: We're still _in_ here. (castle shakes again)

Hello Queen: (collects energy in paws) You all perish…

AJ: And that's our cue. (GBA glows)

Our party turns into sparks once more, and they fly out the window, leaving Hello Queen and everybody else. It takes 2 revolutions around the castle to find the Great Fox and land on it.

Fox: Glad I installed this. (presses another button on headset)

A large cannon appears on the bottom of the gigantinormous ship.

Kurama: And what exactly does this do?

Fox: Big bomb.

There is a huge, huge explosion that completely destroys the castle.

All: (staring at Fox) …

Fox: (smiling)

There's a crater where the castle used to be.

Fox: (still smiling)

Gojyo: Yeah. HOW did that help?

Fox: Um…we won? Yay?

Pikachu: They're all gone…and- wait, that cat's still down there!

Hello Queen is indeed down there. Well, the top half.

There is yet another huge, huge explosion that makes the crater bigger.

Gojyo: WHAT THE (beep), MAN??

Fox: My bad…

Sheik: Hey, look, it's the Hands.

All: (looking)

The Hands fly in, holding giant ice-cream cones. Master Hand's is vanilla. Crazy Hand's is chocolate, peanut butter, sherbet, and rocky road mixed with syrup and mustard.

All: (looking)

Master Hand: Having fun?

AJ: What the HELL is going on?

Master Hand: You guys were running out of ideas, so I staged this little action/adventure to speed things along.

Crazy Hand: I helped!

Master Hand: Shut up. I made that entire castle and everything in it. The highway, those robots, the squirrel…even Hello Queen. My work.

Hiei: So where are the others?

Master Hand: Chillin' at the mansion, yo.

Pikachu: Ew. Then…what about Falcon?

Master Hand: (tries to shrug, but fails and punches the ship) I'll worry about that later. Right now, our little guests have to scram.

(back at the mansion's living room)

Yusuke: You guys sure took your sweet time.

Hiei: Don't get me started.

Gojyo: (giving Goku a noogie) Too bad you didn't really get eaten. I could've used the silence.

Goku: Yeah, right, you probably would've cried your little eyes out!

Sanzo: (sighs) Back to normal…I question how good this actually is.

Hakkai: Look at it this way. At least you get to use more ammo.

Spike: Can we go now?

Master Hand: One second. (somehow devours ice-cream cone) Okay, limo's outside, beat it. I'm taking a nap. (flies away, revealing half the limo)

Crazy Hand: …OH! (flies away, revealing the other half of the limo)

Mario: I guess this is where we say goodbye.

Sanzo: Yeah, whatever. Let's go.

The Sanzo Party gets in the limo.

Spike: (gets up, looks around) Bye.

Spike gets in the limo.

Junpei: (groans) Do we-

Celcia: Yes, come on, Junpei.

Junpei: But-

Ritsuko: Come on, Junpei.

Junpei: …I-

Airi: Junpei…

Junpei: Fine. (stomping out of the mansion, grumbling) This is why I hate humor stories…

Those Who Hunt Elves get in the limo.

Ilpalazzo: Excel?

Excel: Yes, Lord Ilpalazzo, sir!

Ilpalazzo: It's time we return to the base. Say your little goodbyes and whatnot and report to the limo. (goes outside)

Excel: It was really fun hanging with you guys, hope to do it again! Well, not really, since I'll technically be going AWOL, which isn't a very logical thing for me to be doing with my employed state the way it is now, but bye! (rushes outside)

Excel and Ilpalazzo get in the limo.

Yusuke: Yeah, insert tearful goodbye here. I'm starving.

Hiei: I'm glad Kuwabara didn't show.

Kurama: I'm glad everyone's okay.

Yusuke/Hiei: What a surprise.

Yusuke, Hiei, and Kurama get in the limo.

Kintaro: (comes out of nearby closet) Is it over?

All: (staring)

Kintaro: I didn't want to die…so…I just hid there.

Falco: Bye, whatever your name is.

Kintaro: Oh, right! So long!

Kintaro gets in the limo.

AJ: Now it's my turn. I know you'll miss me, but-

Bowser: (throws AJ out of the mansion)

The limo drives off.

Peach: Well, that seemed like forever, yet only a short time.

Pichu: Yeah…

All: …

Pichu: I want my chips back.

Pikachu: I didn't f*cking EAT YOUR F*CKING CHIPS!

Pichu: YOU'RE A LIAR! A LIAR AND A SLUT!

Pikachu: THAT MAKES NO SENSE!

Pichu: JUST LIKE YOU EATING MY GODDAMN MOTHERF*CKIN CHIPS!

Everyone Else: (leaving)

_**THE F*CKIN' END!** We made it through over 2 years of pure, scripted sh*t alive! We got plus experience! We got minus intelligence! Get out before your brain melts completely!_

_Seriously. _


End file.
